Ade couldn’t help but think of him. The barber with his small body frame, which made him look younger than he was and an unfair amount of enthusiasm for life in his demeanour, reminded Ade of him.
Nicely done, Boakye. This seems very authentic and from-the-heart. You've added all the right kind of odd details: the tactile sensation of being accidentally brushed, Ade's reaction to the visuals, even the setting of this beaten-down barbershop--all those little things that add up to one person falling for another. Good job unobtrusively slipping in our protag's backstory, as well. Finally, gotta say, I love that first line.
Hi, Maame Esi! Thank you so much for taking time to read this. I appreciate the comment and I am glad you enjoyed it. I hope you stick around to the end.
Nicely done, Boakye. This seems very authentic and from-the-heart. You've added all the right kind of odd details: the tactile sensation of being accidentally brushed, Ade's reaction to the visuals, even the setting of this beaten-down barbershop--all those little things that add up to one person falling for another. Good job unobtrusively slipping in our protag's backstory, as well. Finally, gotta say, I love that first line.
Heya, Craig! It is good to see you again. I appreciate you for always reading my writing and offering constructive feedback.
I was kinda worried about the backstory so it feel refreshing to hear that it didn't obstruct the flow.
Whew!!! We have started. 💪🏿
Wow Alpha
This story was written beautifully
Your storytelling had vivid pictures and relatability that immersed me into the story
I enjoyed this and I'm so proud of you
Hi, Maame Esi! Thank you so much for taking time to read this. I appreciate the comment and I am glad you enjoyed it. I hope you stick around to the end.